There was, however, one obvious difference between the people I was surrounded with and myself: they seemed to have more zeal, more vigor, more excitement and I can only surmise that this is because of the appreciation they have from the lives that our Great God saved them from. They did not seem to have a 'pride issue', or struggle with any feelings of 'active righteousness' (thoughts of 'MY righteous deeds got me here, MY good decisions). No. They knew, only our God was mighty enough to save them from the nightmares of lives they were delivered from! I sometimes wonder, if there will ever be a time where God brings me to total humility. Will there ever be a time when I do not delight to hear MY name praised? I am overwhelmed with selfish ambition. My only answer for the time being is to run to the cross!
Sunday, July 26, 2009
CELEBRATE RECOVERY!
Celebrate Recovery is a program that Seacoast Church offers on Friday nights for those who have been saved from addiction, abuse, and other sin in their lives. I was invited one Friday by my friend Dereck who was taking some of the guys from the half-way-house that he has moved into. He informed me of the type of service that it was and I (desperate for praise and worship and fellowship with the Lord) told him I didn't care, I just wanted to go to church. So I went that Friday and have been back a few other times since then. What I have come to realize is this: sin is sin no matter what form it manifests itself. It operates on the same basic principles in all of our lives. I listened to the testimony of a recovered drug and alcohol abuser and was immediately drawn to her story. What she was attempting to do with drugs and alcohol in her adolescence and part of her adult life is the same thing I attempted to do with success in sports, dating the most popular guys, and attempting to win as many awards as I could. She was seeking attention and love. She was empty and wanted to be filled. She was lost and wanted to be found. The only difference between she and I was the types of things we choose to fill our voids with. Pick your poison! We both 'earned wages only to put them in a purse with holes in it" (Haggai) And don't we even still, after being saved, experiencing God's immense love, and knowing that He is the only One that can fill us, have "affairs of the heart" as John Eldredge puts it and attempt to use worldly things, relationships, jobs, etc to satisfy us? The principle behind the sins I was hearing described and the sins I fight on a daily basis were and are the same.
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For a second there, I thought you might have been me. My pride sucks hardcore
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